Your 7th House

Wedlock is a funny thing. I was a stand-up comic when I married a stand-up comic. We were 32. We eloped. We weren’t in the mood for a big show. We had been entertaining strangers for over a decade. I was teaching dance in public schools at the same time. We weren’t into vows. We tied the knot on a beach in Maui. It was quick and beautiful. I was married in classy, white flip flops. Two funny people making a life, bonding on the ocean, fiercely independent, and unique. In the beginning, it was fun and light. I had known him since high school. We were in a comedy improv group together. We got the most laughs. We shared a very dark sense of working-class humor. We dated on and off all throughout high school, college, and graduate school. I dumped him every chance I got because he drove me nuts in all ways. He was late, never had any money, and dressed like a slob. No one was funnier than him though, so I was torn.

Your 7th house in Astrology is the house of Libra. It rules partnerships, both business and love. It’s known as the house of marriage. It involves contracts and commitment. Libra is a cardinal air sign that wants balance, harmony, beauty, and teamwork. People say marriage is hard. Wood is hard. Rocks are hard. Marriage is harder than hard. I don’t know how I am not medicated. I take 30 vitamins a day, do hot yoga, go to therapy and still… nothing is coming up roses. Everything is work. Taking care of flowers is no joke. My 7th house has Mars in Aquarius as a tenant. My husband has Mars in Sagittarius and Mercury in Aquarius. We both think we know it all and neither of us is well directed. I have a fixed Mars. His mind, Mercury, is fixed. We have been doomed since day one. No one bends. Cut to 19 years of marriage and 1 son later—we feast on arguing like lawyers most of the time.

Now the Astrology. It doesn’t matter what planets are in your 7th house and it totally matters what planets are in your 7th house. It matters what planet your spouse is from. I definitely married someone from outer space. He thinks I am an alien and I am certain he is an alien. We don’t think alike. We don’t like the same foods. We don’t share the same beliefs on money or parenting. Did I marry this person to drive me totally insane? To push me to the brink? Love eventually hurts. Love is an unpredictable place. It changes. Life transforms.

There’s a point in your life where you think things are ticking (inner and biological clocks) and you feel like you are running out of time. You take chances. You live with those decisions. You keep going. A big transit comes along, be it your Saturn return (age 27-33) or Pluto in any shape or form, probably bringing on a loss, and you jump out of a new airplane, maybe a marriage jet. You quickly learn flying is terrifying.

I don’t highly recommend marriage to young people. To do my life over, I would Never get married. I’d still have my son at 38 though. I’d happily just live in sin. If you want to procreate, it is probably much easier to do it without the Saturn paperwork. The contract of marriage is a serious paper. The paperwork nails you to a very tricky cross unless you get married after you fully know yourself inside and out. It is my belief that all choices help you grow and we are the ones making meaning in our lives by the things we do, and by the people we love. The more conscious we are of our fears and needs, the more powerful we will be in creating the life of peace we truly want. The good news is, in time you see that you learn by experience and it’s ok to make very stupid decisions and learn from those very stupid decisions.

We plant new gardens and grow new fruit.

Marriage is Modern Torture