Love Definitely Sucks

Ever feel like talking is not your answer? Does your mate speak your language? Mine doesn’t. It is very very important I never try to talk to him, at least not with words. He goes apeshit and the game is fully over. There are other forms of communication and it’s all we got. He is from another planet, and I’ve accepted it. I’ve worked in Special Education for 18 years too let’s not forget that. My specialness and his specialness mix in such a way it’s best we give each other our own room to fly at all times in all ways.

Does it work? Define work. Life is pain. I lowered my expectations for this life a very long time ago when I was 27, after my father was murdered.  When your parent is murdered, you belong to a unique group of very intuitive, traumatized, made of steel people.  Living through a family homicide teaches you a lot of things. It made me very psychic and aware without the ability to lie or put up with ridiculous nonsense.  

Partnership takes balance. Ours takes and requires a ton of space. Once you have a kid, it gets harder to keep your own inner seesaw working safely. Fun becomes an unusual F word. You visit it, you leave it, you dance with it, and you find it again.  

Does love suck? I don’t believe this life includes anything that doesn’t swing to suck some time. Earth is a trauma experiment. It goes up, it goes down. We learn. Things hurt. We heal. That’s life. It’s why we have shrinks, walk-in massage places, healers, and hospitals.

Antidotes to poison? I love Esther Perel’s books on relationships. She has worked with couples all over the world. Her expectations for ecstasy in this life are extremely low too. For this, I can love and recommend her work.  We can’t have Suck without Joy and we can’t have Joy without Suck.